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How does it feel to live with people who give a damn about you ?? Everytime you get ignored. Weather you are sick , hungry or drepessed. I remember when i was very hungry with low blood pressure i told everyone i am hungry but no was listened till i fainted .

I used to do all household works , studying and doing everything they told. But i was ignored everytime . I was so hurt . I used to cry every single day . Even my tears rolled down infront of everyone they didnot care. They used to say *etri thuli vara ni runxes aafno kaam aafai garna sakdinas??* I used to cook food for everyone and used to eat at last the leftovers. I used to remember my mom and cry. I am 21 now and still facing same thing. I used to think i will have a good future with lots of happiness together with my mom . My mom is no more with me.

Do you realize who i indicated them ? *My father and his family with stepmom and their children.* I was forced to live with them. If only i was in other country expect nepal i wouldn’t have been move out. But life goes on …😊

How many of you remember your “the best and worst memories” of your life till now . May be I am not the only one who used to thik I will remember this bad day and this good day whenever some thing happens.

But now i don’t remeber those days haha. Just so many of us have different memories which hurt us till now. I remember how i cried on phone to my father to send some money. So that i could eat something . My family was not poor but after my father left me and my mother and got married to another women. We didn’t have anything in house . I was hungry for 2 day . I don’t know how many days my mother was hungry .

For me memories were always sad or dark. The happiest moment i would say is when my mother got a job in a school . She ran to me crying and said you won’t be hungry anymore and don’t have to beg your father . We cried whole day on eachothers arms. I used to live in village . We had fields but were not allowed to take anything. I used to tell my mother that ; “don’t worry mummy one day i will buy you these fields and you can plant anything you like”. My mom used to laugh maybe now i realize why.

You know ; what a childhood trauma is ??  What was your childhood?? Being loved my parents, wanting everything  what you saw in street. But there are lots are humans (let’s say human because gender doesn’t  matter here ) who have nightmare because of bad childhood. I still remember how i cried just because my uncle scold me . I used to write everything is paper to remember hahaha . But i forget everything  except my tears. Its funny how i was .  I always used to have problems in everything. With family with friends with teachers. I won’t say  struggle but  i had problems while dealing with everything . I used to have a beautiful dream  about my future . I wanted to be doctor. I used  to dream about big house, a car and most importantly  my mother’s beautiful  smile. Let me tell you a secret (don’t tell anyone 😝) my father marrier another girl while i was 21 days.  You can imagine  how was my childhood.   My mom  (what a beautiful person she is )  she had a dark past and still don’t have beautiful  present and future living alone . So can i say my life is lonely ?? Is it fair ?? No right ??